This popped up on my Citroen list and I thought it funny enough to bother you
guys with it. It is out of context here but appropriate to a Land Rover list
nonetheless.
As follows:
Hmmm - please complete the following test to determine whether Her
Majesty's Immigration Service will let you in.
1. Please spell:
* aluminium
* colour
* harbour
* plough
* programme
* theatre
2. Is a backlog of work a good thing or a bad thing?
3. If you "table a motion" at a business meeting, are you:
* withdrawing a motion from the agenda
* adding a motion to the agenda
4. Please translate the following into British English, inserting the word
"bloody" where appropriate:
"I went to the gas station, bought a dollar gas, opened the hood and
checked the oil and then took the car into the workshop where they checked
the rotors and told me my muffler was leaking and I needed two tires."
or translate the following motoring terms into British English:
* hood
* tire
* rotor
* trunk
* fender
* turn lights
* freeway
* rotary gyratory intersection
* exit ramp
* windshield
* gas
* stick shift
* trailer
* semi-truck
* pavement
* sidewalk
5. Please translate the following into American English:
"I'm mad about my flat"
6. Please sing verse three of "God Save The Queen."
7. You are at a cinema and at the end of the film, they play the National
Anthem. What do you do?
8. Which way round are the pedals on a UK market car (from left to right).
9. Why was Windsor Castle (one of the Queen's homes) built so close to
Heathrow? (100 words or less).
10. What is a chip buttie?
11. What is the singular of "roadworks"?
12. Who or what is "Posh 'n' Becks?
13. Please explain the rules of cricket (5 000 words or less)
14. What is today's date (in digits)?
15. Who or what is the "Currant Bun"?
16. How should you treat someone who says to you, "Ey sey ole chep, Ay
seem to hev lef may soggy retts in the car. May Ay cedge one orff you please?"
* with deference and respect
* with pity
* with ridicule and laughter
* say "Come again?"
* say "Yer whaat?"
* lecture the person about the dangers of smoking
17. How should you treat someone who says to you, "Sorry me ol' china -
Ieft me fags in the jam jar - can I 'alf-inch one off of yer?"
* with deference and respect
* with pity
* with praise
* with ridicule and laughter
* say "Come again?"
* say "Yer whaat?"
* lecture the person about the dangers of smoking
18. When was England last invaded?
19. Please translate the following into American English:
"When I was at public school, I had to fag for the seniors."
20. Please translate the following into American English:
"Is this the queue for the bog?"
or translate the following into British English:
"Is this the line for the bathroom?"
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This archive was generated by hypermail 2b30 : Mon Dec 02 2002 - 11:37:24 EST