This was on my MB list and I thought it was so funny I just had to post
it here. Perhaps relevant since our beloved marque was, until recently,
German-owned.
bill
In a recent publication - - - -
"Euro-English"
The European Language Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations,
Her
Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known
as
"Euro-English".
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will
make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour
of
the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less
letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make words
like
'fotograf' 20% shorter!
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always been a
deterent
to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horrible mes of the
silent
'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th'
with
'z' and 'w' wiz 'v'. During ze fifz year ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd
from
vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl ritn
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evriun vil find it ezi
tu
undrstand ech ozer.
Zen Z Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Und I mit ad dat dis nu spelung had skrewd up min automatic speler cheker
und gramatik und it kriatd much trubl und difikultis!
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b30 : Sun Apr 22 2001 - 04:50:31 EDT